Another one gone

Keith's sister left the voice mail message while the kids and I were at "Club Mom" at the mall. Mr. K's grandpa just died. It didn't come as a surprise, though, because Mr. K's dad sent us an e-mail last night telling us Grandpa D had just had his last rites (Catholic) and wasn't doing well.

I had met him once when you could actually talk to him a little, but the times after that, he was just a zombie. I had expected him to die soon, shortly after I married Mr. K over ten years ago. I've seen him at a couple weddings since then, and that was why I thought he was sort of zombie-like. He didn't communicate at all with me.

Ghosts aren't real, but the death of someone I know causes all the others I've known to haunt me again for a while. Fortunately most people I've known are still alive.

My first grandpa died when I was two so I don't remember him, but there's both my grandmas, my other grandpa, my friend's mom, and another woman who was my friend in high school (who died of cervical cancer at 32). I was a couple month's older than she was. Sometimes I dream about her and about my paternal grandma, and when I see them in my dreams, I know something is wrong, but I just can't put my finger on why they shouldn't be there. I feel so greedy when I'm sad about my dad's mom's death because I miss her so much, but she lived to be one month short of 95 so there shouldn't be anything to be sad about. Others die so much younger.

The only great-grandparents N, J, and K have left are Mr. K's two grandmothers. My own grandma met N and J, and she died less than a month after meeting J who was five months old when they met. J was my grandma's first great-granddaughter.

One of Mr. K's six brothers is marrying Saturday. We won't be going home to Michigan for the wedding. It's too bad about the timing of Grandpa D's death. I hope it doesn't take any joy away from the wedding. As far as I know, Mr. K won't be returning for his grandpa's funeral. I was very saddened to miss my own grandma's funeral, but I just wasn't up to traveling that far alone with a toddler and a baby when we had just been back the month before and saw my grandma while she was still alive.